the most important things in life, I learned from my dog

Claws hurt, but not all cats have them.

It's more fun to chase things than to be chased.

Eat whatever you like, regardless of how it may make your breath stink.

The quickest way to get somebody's attention is to jam your face into their crotch.

Charm is much more compelling than obedience.

Cute boys give better pets.

If you stand there long enough with your tongue hanging out, eventually somebody will give you something to eat.

Cold nose, warm heart.

All squirrels are evil and must die.