Ah Bartleby! Ah felinity!

Bartleby, the little black cat who lives on my porch, won't come inside. I assure him he can camp out in the basement where it's warm and nobody will bother him, but he just crouches and hisses at me when I invite him in. I guess there's nothing I can do about it; apparently he's fine on the porch, even with all the snow. He simply would prefer not to.