wasabi_poptart: (ciggie-girl)
wasabi_poptart ([personal profile] wasabi_poptart) wrote2005-06-01 01:13 pm
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I've changed my mind about Neal Pollack. There's nothing sexy about bad parenting.

salon article

[identity profile] kickarse.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 05:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Yowch. I like how they're like, "I don't wanna spend the summer with my kid! It hurts our happy marriage!" Um, didja think about that BEFORE you had the kid? And maybe that the underpaid childcare workers and the poor kids who are getting CHOMPED don't want to spend time with him either!!

[identity profile] lyonesse.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 05:35 pm (UTC)(link)
what a terrific ad for birth control.

[identity profile] bilum.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 05:39 pm (UTC)(link)
On the up side, maybe his son will grow up to be a teen angst movie star, like Christian Slater, whose parents also failed to get his biting under control.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/applehangover/199658.html

[identity profile] wasabi-poptart.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 05:41 pm (UTC)(link)
I saw that, and at the risk of incurring [livejournal.com profile] applehangover disgust, may I just say that I would very much like to bite Christian Slater on the ass.

[identity profile] joeychen.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 05:45 pm (UTC)(link)
huh, very interesting. I can't say I have much sympathy for them. Jeez, I won't even get a pet, let alone a kid.
There seemed to be quite a sense of entitlement that irked me, like 'Why aren't other people looking after our child better! Where are the behavioural specialists, why do we have to look after our own child!' And you know they have a lot more money and material things than plenty of parents and kids out there. Childcare can only do so much on the limited money they are paid for their services (which the market/parents have dictated)

[identity profile] emily-hahn.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 05:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Having been bit twice during my teaching career, my sympathies are automatically with the people who expelled the kid.

Nice how he's more concerned about how the whole situation is going to inconvenience him, rather than figuring out that it's going to take a little more than a "time out" to curb this behavior. Salon likes to call their article "Mothers Who Think," but between this and all the articles Michael Chabon's wife has been writing for them, it's more like "Really Self Absorbed Parents."

[identity profile] astronautical.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 06:27 pm (UTC)(link)
wait, which one is michael chabon's wife? I wonder if she's the one who's been annoying me.

[identity profile] notmarcie.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 06:41 pm (UTC)(link)
And this is yet another reason to be childfree. I don't have either a kid who bites or gets bitten.

[identity profile] emily-hahn.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 06:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Ayelet Waldman? SHe's also written a whole bunch of crazy articles for the NY Times lately that ended up in an appearance on Oprah

[identity profile] wasabi-poptart.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 06:45 pm (UTC)(link)
aw, that's just your empty uterus talking.

[identity profile] notmarcie.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 06:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Imagine having a biter in utero. Yeesh.

The father seems like an arse though. I wonder what article he would have written if it had been his kid being bitten, rather than the bitee.

[identity profile] wasabi-poptart.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 06:52 pm (UTC)(link)
"Imagine having a biter in utero. Yeesh."

OMG, have you read Lost Souls</> by Poppy Z. Brite? It would give you some idea ;)

[identity profile] notmarcie.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 06:54 pm (UTC)(link)
I have ! I remembered just after I posted. Having a baby chew their way out. I wonder what kind of epidural you need for that ?

[identity profile] joeychen.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 06:54 pm (UTC)(link)
so, who's going to post this on the parenting board in Supernaturale, hahahaha

[identity profile] astronautical.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 06:59 pm (UTC)(link)
hmm. she is NUTS. like, maybe she's on supernaturale, you know?

[identity profile] seriousleopold.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 07:00 pm (UTC)(link)
What is with this trend of referring to daycare as "preschool?"

Is it because there's less guilt attached, or more esteem?

[identity profile] notmarcie.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 07:08 pm (UTC)(link)
I will.

[identity profile] emily-hahn.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 07:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Ha ha! She does a lot of fundraising for the public library system in Sacramento, so while I really *want* to like her. But like you say, completely nuts.

[identity profile] emily-hahn.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 07:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Didja see the letters responding to the article?

I really don't want to sound like Dr. Laura here, but something truly disturbed me about Pollack's writing, in particular what it revealed about the priority of the child in their lives. The preoccupation of Pollack and his wife seem to be: How much time can we spend away from our child? How can we get him out of our hair for as long as possible in order to preserve our jobs, our intelligence, our sanity, our marriage? If they think this attitude isn't being conveyed to the child in some way, they're sorely mistaken.

[identity profile] notmarcie.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 07:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Both, I think

"Oh well, we send Junior to "preschool" because he is just so intelligent. He can identify all the states and knows the currency of every nation in South America. Plus it mean the wife and I can pretend we don't have kids AT ALL"

[identity profile] brdgt.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 07:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah nostalgia for my Poppy Z. Brite days...

[identity profile] h-loves-c.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 08:05 pm (UTC)(link)
I think I love you.

No, no - I'm sure of it.

[identity profile] discountchiapet.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 08:37 pm (UTC)(link)
wow, the kid is 2 and they are already sick of him! That's some bold ass shit right there. "Now our summer is totally ruined by this unruly biting fiend - sigh, feel sorry for me".

[identity profile] ramentenshi.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 08:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Just for the record, I was a biter as a child too.

[identity profile] wasabi-poptart.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 08:42 pm (UTC)(link)
what did you parents do to discipline you?

[identity profile] ramentenshi.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 08:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Spanking, and lots of it! And let me tell ya, it worked.

And yeah, I used to draw blood like Neal Pollack's kid too. One time I was at a birthday party and playing musical chairs. When the birthday girl took the chair I wanted, I yanked her out by her hair and chomped on her arm. I have no idea why I used to bite all the time. Aggression? Asserting dominance? Didn't get enough attention? Who knows?

[identity profile] noopsmama.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 08:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Couldn't keep my mouth shut, as my 2 yo does not bite but has lots of unpleasant habits.

I was actually suprised after reading the article by the comments here, and on Salon. The piece was certainly negative, and it is unseemly to call your kids "little shit," but parent's get negative about their kids and say nasty things about them. It was refreshing to hear someone talk about this and not qualify every statement with a "but I love him more than the universe, and couldn't imagine life without him." Parents daydream about life without kids. Kids cramp our style. The more time you spend away from them, the harder it is to spend time with them. I congratulate him for breaking a taboo, and talking about his anger toward his son.

It's a lot cuter when Ayun Halliday talks about "Wolf-Mama", but she really means she can't stand her kids--in those instants. And a precocious 2 year old who draws blood could certainly try a parent's patience.

I frankly feel that this article wasn't aimed at the intentionally childless, but other foolish perpetuaters of the human race. Because the last thing we need is more people who don't know from shitty diapers telling us we suck. You're right, we do, we know it.

Besides, my mother called me "Little Shit" from about 13-18. And look how good i turned out.

[identity profile] wasabi-poptart.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 08:51 pm (UTC)(link)
you were probably hungry!

[identity profile] ramentenshi.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 09:04 pm (UTC)(link)
HA! Well yeah, you're probably right!

[identity profile] wasabi-poptart.livejournal.com 2005-06-01 10:30 pm (UTC)(link)
but. you can understand why that for people who don't have/don't want kids, the idea of somebody expecting daycare providers to pick up the slack and deal with issues the parents themselves aren't dealing with is simply ridiculous, if not downright ahborrent?

[identity profile] anmeikitty.livejournal.com 2005-06-02 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
ugh. i really want to have kids but the thing that worries me most is how they are going to be surrounded by little biting, yuppie douchebags as their peers and full-grown douchebags as the parents of those peers.

i saw something on the news about how it's some breeder trend that kids are getting are thrown out of free preschool left and right for asshole-ish behavior. disturbing.

[identity profile] nakedfotolady.livejournal.com 2005-06-02 03:33 pm (UTC)(link)
i wonder that no one considers the possibility that he's either totally making it up or exaggerating. i don't know how many of you have read neal pollack, but he always bullshits. that's part of his charm as a writer.

[identity profile] i-am-dre.livejournal.com 2005-06-15 01:40 am (UTC)(link)
Mr.E bit me once, i bit him back. We agreed that biting hurt and hurting sucks.
not that I endorse biting toddlers or anything ;)