Just take out the word "David's" and replace it with "Bridal Slaughterhouse." Because, really, it was like an abattoir, only with sequins and hangers instead of blood and hooks.

I didn't even mention the very worst thing I saw, which was this:



That's right. A satin camouflage toss garter, trimmed in black tulle and decorated with a United States army medallion. There was one for the Marines, too.